And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
