Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
