I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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