So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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