i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i will never coherently bang her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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