Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize