Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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