Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
