at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize