BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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