Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
