i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
