Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
