I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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