they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
