i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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