All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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