hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
