What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Randomize
