Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
