But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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