Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize