So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
