she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Semen is not good for contacts.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We have started to decorate penises.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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