She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
