were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
