i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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