when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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