Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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