Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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