He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
