I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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