bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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