....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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