Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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