he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
