i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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