I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
