Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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