I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
