I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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