At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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