Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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