my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So vagazzling was a success
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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