im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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