Semen is not good for contacts.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
