I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
