wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize