So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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