a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
