I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
