mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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