It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
