seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company