direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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