I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.