Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Ketchup is God's man juice

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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(585): View more from New York

Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window

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