guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I bet he comes in French.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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