my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
