she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Randomize
