he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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