Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
