"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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