this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
