She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
