somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
