I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
